RESPECT

Respect means a
lot of different things for different people. It includes taking
someone's feelings, needs, thoughts, ideas, wishes and preferences into
consideration. It also means taking all of these seriously and giving
them worth and value.

In fact, giving someone respect seems similar to valuing them and their
thoughts, feelings, etc. It also seems to include acknowledging them,
listening to them, being truthful with them, and accepting their
individuality and idiosyncrasies.



BEHAVIOUR :



Respect can be shown through behavior and it can also be felt. We can
act in ways which are considered respectful, yet we can also feel
respect for someone and feel respected by someone. Because it is
possible to act in ways that do not reflect how we really feel, the
feeling of respect is more important than the behavior without the
feeling. When the feeling is there, the behavior will naturally follow.



SURVIVAL : Going back in time, respect played an important role in survival. If we
think of a small tribe wandering in the desert we can imagine that a
person not respected by anyone could be left behind and die. Such a
person was considered to have no worth, no importance, no value to the
group.



CHANGING VALUES :

Nowadays it seems much more possible- to survive without being
respected. Someone could, for example, inherit a large sum of money,
have many servants and employees and have salesmen constantly calling on
him and catering to him, yet not be respected in the least. Someone
could also make a lot of money through having a particular talent which
is valued, such as being able to dunk a basketball yet not really be
respected, perhaps because of the way he treats others.



IMPORTANCE :



When we are respected we gain the voluntary cooperation of people. We
don't have to use as much of our energy and resources trying to get our
needs met. When people respect one another there are fewer conflicts.

In summary, it is for both evolutionary and practical reasons that
respect is important, and also why we simply feel better when we are
respected.

Respect seems to be like a boomerang in the sense that you must send it
out before it will come back to you. Respect cannot be demanded or
forced, though sometimes people mistakenly believe that it can be
commanded.



SHOWING & EARNING : If respecting someone means respecting their feelings and their survival
needs, then if a person does not respect your feelings, they don't
respect you. If those in positions of power and authority do not respect
your needs and feelings, they will not earn your respect.